The First Time Afterwards
by BrandonMichelle
Summary: Cosette wont let Marius be intimate with her after her father dies, but can she really be blamed for that? After all he did lie to her . Will she ever be able to share something so sacred with her husband again? Novel verse based fic . Rated M in Chapter 3 . Reviews are nice to see .
1. Not Tonight

**The first time afterwards**

"Not tonight Marius...Please" Cosette said, as she felt Marius's hand slowly working its way up from her waist. She had taken herself to bed earlier that evening and when she heard Marius enter the bedroom a few minutes ago to join her she had hoped he wasn't going to be wanting anything physical from her tonight.

Marius had wrapped his arm around her as she lay on her side with her eyes shut and she smiled when he kissed her hair gently. It felt nice having him hold her like that, she had hoped that was as far as he would go, but when she felt his hand on her hip and felt it wander further up her body she thought she had better stop him before he got himself worked up, she just wasn't in the mood for it tonight.

In fact she hadn't been in the mood for a while now, you see her father had died only three weeks ago and she had been through the most terrible grief because of it, she felt so empty inside at the loss of her father. But she also felt angry too because of all the lies Marius had told her and she felt betrayed by her father for leaving her so suddenly.  
There were so many things she didn't know how to deal with, but she knew in her heart she couldn't stay angry at Marius forever. She had been able to understand why Marius did what he did in regards to her father and she forgave him, but that didn't mean she was ready to resume her marital duties yet, in all honesty she didn't know if she would ever be ready for that again. It wasn't that she didn't love Marius anymore, it was just the betrayal of trust she hadn't moved on from yet, and she couldn't be with him until she had come to terms with that.

Marius sighed against her shoulder and moved his hand off her; he had expected her to say no to him, but he was still disappointed. It was his own fault though, he had caused her so much pain recently and he knew he shouldn't be rushing her to resume her wedly duties so soon.

"I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone". He said as he moved away from her to the other side of the bed, leaving a gap between them. Cosette didn't like this, just because she didn't want to make love to him didn't mean that she didn't like the feeling of him close to her, of him holding her and comforting her. She felt like that gap between them had been getting bigger, not just in the bed either but in their marriage too.

"No, wait" Cosette said, turning to him, although she had no idea what to say next that wouldn't sound like she was rejecting him. "I'm...It's not that I don't want to Marius, I just don't think I'd be any good right now".

Marius looked at her and smiled sadly, he felt a little ashamed of himself for wanting something from her she clearly couldn't give right now, but then again how could he be expected to not want her? It would be so much easier on him if she wasn't so beautiful all the time; this was like torture for him. Still he knew he was being selfish, she was still grieving and he knew he was part of the reason for causing her to feel like that, after all he had betrayed her trust so deeply.  
He would have given anything to make her feel better but it wasn't that simple; this was something she just had to go through, something she had to feel. Only then would things be like they used to be, before all this awfulness happened, but God only knew how long it would take.

"I don't mean to rush you Cosette" Marius said "I know you've been through a lot lately".

"I just want to be everything for you Marius and right now I don't think I can give myself to you fully; I don't think I can be what you want me to be, like I was before". Cosette said sadly, and this made Marius sit upright in the bed.

"Oh Cosette no, It's not like that". He said worriedly "I don't want you to be anything, I just want you to feel better. God...everything's been so messed up lately hasn't it? Us, your father… I swear if I could change what happened to him I would Cosette, just so this pain you're feeling would stop".

"I just need time Marius" Cosette told him, sitting up on the bed as well.

"I know, I'm sorry" He said sadly, "I'll wait for you I promise".

"Thank you" She said with a gentle smile, and then she kissed him on the temple softly. "I do love you, so very much" she whispered to him.

"I love you too Cosette" Marius replied, and he lay down again. "Come here" he said, opening his arms to her, knowing that she just needed some comfort right now and nothing more physical.

Cosette lay down with him as he wrapped his arms around her and she settled her head in between his neck and shoulder. She placed one of her hands on his chest as he kissed her forehead gently. This was exactly what she wanted from him right now, it was just asking too much from her to do anything else.

As Marius lay there with Cosette in his arms he knew he still wanted her so badly, but he also knew it wasn't about him right now, she was still grieving and she needed time to heal, he knew he should stop being so selfish, but he also hoped that it wouldn't be much longer until he could make love to her again.


	2. How Could You?

**Three weeks earlier **

Marius awoke slowly as everything that had happened the previous day came flooding back to him, that horrible Monsieur Thenardier had come to him with all those lies and he had found out the truth about who had saved him from the barricades, but it was too late. They had gotten to Cosettes father but he had died right in front of them, it wasn't the way it was supposed to end for him, he should have lived, he should have come home with them and been a father to them both, but instead he just died and they couldn't stop it from happening.

Marius had brought Cosette home that night and got her into bed, sleep was the best thing for her, she was so distraught it was the only thing that could give her relief at that moment. He had lain with her, holding her all night and he expected her to still be there when he woke up that morning, but as he opened his eyes he was alone in the bed. It was still very early, but the room was full of daylight.

"Cosette?" he said rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and looking around the room, "Cos…. Oh there you are". She was sat at the window seat in her nightdress, looking outside sadly, she didn't turn her head as Marius spoke her name, she just continued staring out the window.

Marius rose out of the bed and made his way over to her, he placed a hand gently on her shoulder and only then did she finally turn to him, as if she had only just realised he was there. He looked at her eyes and face and it was obvious she had been crying, probably for a long time.

"How long have you been awake?" He asked her

"I don't know, I can't really think straight" She said, sounding very broken.

"You should be resting darling; you've been through a lot". Marius said and then leant down to kiss the crown of her head softly, before sitting at the window seat as well.

Cosette continued looking outside blankly whilst Marius just sat there with her, not saying anything, just watching her and trying to be there for her.

Finally she spoke, "He's really gone isn't he?" she said sadly

"I'm afraid so Cosette" Marius told her, and then she looked at him again with a strange expression on her face, like she wanted to know something.

"What is it?" he asked her

"I want to know what happened between you and my father, I want to know everything". She said, and the tone of her voice told Marius that she meant it; he knew he was going to have to tell her everything.

So he did, he told her how her father had come to him after they were married and told him about his past, how his real name was Jean Valjean, about how he was an ex con, about how he had found Cosette when she was lost in a wood, that part she already knew of course. He told her about the police officer Javert and how her father had led Marius to believe he had murdered him at the barricades, and how after hearing all this he tried to keep Valjean away from Cosette, to protect her, that's why he had been so distant after they were married, that's why he had been so cold towards the old man when he had come to see Cosette, and that's why he had tried to drive him out of their lives. His only defence was that he thought he was doing the right thing at the time, and that's what he told her.

"That's it, that's everything I swear" Marius said after he had finished telling her the whole story.

Cosette was silent for a long time after he had finished speaking, there were tears in her eyes though and a sort of silent anger in her expression, it was something Marius had never seen on her before.

"How could you?" she finally said, quietly and calmly but like she was holding back so much rage

"What?" Marius said

"How could you keep him from me? How could you think you had to protect me from my own father?" she said to him

"He made me believe he was dangerous Cosette, I thought he was. I just wanted to keep you safe". Marius said.

"Safe?" she said incredulously, she stood up then and walked into the middle of the room, turning her back to Marius who stayed sitting, he looked quite ashamed of himself right now.

"He was my father Marius, he loved me, and I loved him" Cosette said, turning back to him, "For years he was all I had in the world, he took care of me, there was nothing about him I needed to be kept safe from".

"I know that now Cosette" He said solemnly, standing up to go to her, but she put a hand up in front of her to stop him

"Don't…." she said, tears falling down her face again, "You lied to me Marius, we shared a bed, my God.…we shared everything" She said, realising just how much she had shared with Marius and how intimate she had been with him. She had given him her heart and her body but he had been keeping secrets from her even when she had given everything she had to him.  
She felt betrayed by him, but she also felt betrayed by her father, they had both been dishonest to her and she didn't know what to think anymore, she wanted to hurt someone and perhaps even hurt herself.

"You were lying to me all this time, you kept him away from me". She said through her tears.

"I never meant to hurt you Cosette" Marius said, as if that explained his actions.

"But you did, and now my father's dead" She said, looking at him like she didn't trust him anymore.

There were so many different thoughts and feelings running through Cosettes head right now, things she couldn't make sense of. The two men she had trusted most in the world had deceived her. She didn't know what to think anymore, about her father, about Marius, about anything. Cosette put her hands up to her head and pulled at her hair, she didn't know why she was doing that, she couldn't think, for some reason she just wanted to feel pain at that moment so she pulled hard.

"Cosette…..stop" Marius said to her, concerned about this behaviour, but she took a step back from him.

"Who _are_ you?" she said through her tears, and this time Marius did go to her, he tried to hold her but she screamed at him, "DON'T TOUCH ME!"  
Her voice was so full of anger, but Marius didn't stop, he tried to hold her and calm her down but she beat at his chest with her fists.

"Don't…..I hate you, don't touch me," Cosette cried between sobs as Marius tried to comfort her, eventually she just crumpled to the floor and Marius joined her there too, still holding her.

Cosette relented and let him wrap his arms around her; she even put her arms around him as she sobbed into his chest. As angry as she was at him right now she knew she didn't really hate him, she just wanted to hurt him the way he'd hurt her. She still loved him and she needed comfort right now so she let him hold her.

"Oh God…I need my papa" She said, feeling so much pain inside of her.

"I know Cosette, I'm so sorry. But I swear I'm going to make this right". Marius said quietly to her as her tears seemed to subside.

"You can't Marius, it can never be right". She said sadly.

It was true, and Marius knew it, he knew he could never take back what he did to her father, or give Cosette back the time she had lost with him. He would try though, somehow he would make it right again.

For now though Cosette needed rest, he knew that was the best thing for her now, but it was mostly because he didn't know what else to do.

"Here, look at me" Marius said taking her face in his hands and making her look at him. "Will you rest for me now darling? Please?"

"I don't think I can move off this floor" she said, she sounded so broken and exhausted that it was clear to Marius she didn't even have it in her to stand up right now.

So Marius placed one arm under her legs and the other around her back and carried her to their bed, he lay her down and pulled the blankets over her like he was putting a child to sleep. That's what she was like right now though, she was rather helpless at the moment.

Marius kissed her forehead gently, "Try and sleep Cosette" he whispered to her. "Do you need anything? Is there anything I can do?" he then asked her.

"Will you stay here please?" She said quietly to him reaching for his hand, and he nodded.

"Of course" he told her, and he sat himself down in an armchair next to the bed, and held her hand, stroking it gently with his fingers.

Before Cosette closed her eyes she looked at Marius sadly, "I don't hate you; I just wanted to hurt you. I didn't mean it" she said, sounding very tired.

"I know" Marius said with a sad smile.


	3. I Need This

Another four days had passed and there was still nothing happening in the bedroom, but then one night Cosette had a second glass of wine with dinner and a then a third and it was having a strange effect on her. She wasn't a heavy drinker by any means, but she usually enjoyed some wine with dinner. Her father had often let her drink a little wine with her meals when she became of age and the alcohol tended to make her feel quite merry and at ease.  
She didn't know what had made her drink more than usual that night, but she liked the way it had made her feel. So that night she was feeling quite relaxed, not inebriated, but the alcohol had definitely shed a few of her inhibitions about being with Marius again.

Cosette had told Marius she was heading up to bed and she told him not to be too long, but clearly he hadn't taken the hint she was trying to make. He was quite taken aback when he later entered their bedroom and saw her lying propped up on one arm on the bed in only her undergarments.

"I've been waiting for you Monsieur" Cosette said flirtatiously to him when he entered the room.

"Oh really?" he said with a smile as he walked over to the bed, this seemed like a good sign to him. He had been so patient lately and he hadn't wanted to rush her at all, but he desperately wanted to make love to her as well, and how could he turn her down?

After all she clearly wanted him right now and she was looking so beautiful.

* * *

Very soon they had both undressed each other with a furious passion, Marius could still taste the wine on her lips when she kissed him with such a fervour, it was quite exciting for him but it also felt a little strange just how passionate she was being tonight, especially when he had removed his trousers and she had wrapped her legs around his waist, straddling him.

Usually they only ever made love in the missionary position, it was the only way deemed proper by society for a man and woman to be with each other, but Marius couldn't help but enjoy the way she had positioned herself on his lap, with her legs wrapped tightly around him. He was able to feel all over her with his hands and kiss her breasts softly; it was incredibly erotic to Marius.

Cosette didn't waste any more time when she felt his erection hard against her and she took it into her hand before guiding it into herself, usually this was a pleasant feeling, something she would gasp at, or she would give a little moan of pleasure that Marius always enjoyed hearing, but tonight she gave a quiet noise of pain as she slid down onto him.  
The problem was she just wasn't sufficiently aroused enough for it to be pleasurable tonight, and it was obvious to Marius.

"Are you sure you want this?" he said, as he heard her whimpers as she moved back and forth onto him.

She didn't answer him; she just wrapped her legs even tighter around him, if that was possible, as they were already quite tight. She even seemed to move faster onto him, and Marius began to realise that she was doing this tonight for all the wrong reasons; this didn't feel like they were making love, this didn't feel right at all.

"Easy Cosette, slow down love" he said, worried about how intense this was getting and concerned that she was going to get hurt; he hadn't heard her in pain from this experience since their first time.

"I need this Marius, please. I know you want it too". She said in a whisper

"You'll hurt yourself" Marius said

"I don't care" she said, and Marius then knew that this wasn't right.

"No Cosette, stop". He said, but she didn't, even when he tried to push her away. "Stop!" He said firmly, stopping her by taking her face into his hands and making her look at him.

"Not like this Cosette" he said softly, and she looked at him knowing he was right; she was only doing this because she wanted to please her husband, but it wasn't pleasing him if she was in pain.

She wanted to be with him, but this wasn't the way, this wasn't the way at all.

Cosette nodded and began crying softly, and then a little harder. Marius didn't say anything, he just held her in his arms as she cried. Cosette rested her head gently on top of his for a moment "I'm sorry Marius" she said quietly through her tears as "I just wanted to be with you again".

"I know, but not tonight darling" Marius said, stroking her hair.

He took her head in his hands again, gently this time and he looked at her again. "Soon Cosette" he whispered and he kissed her forehead.

She nodded, and wiped her face free of tears; she was still sitting with her legs wrapped around Marius and was suddenly aware of how naked and bare she appeared to be and how unseemly this position was, she felt so ashamed of herself for presenting herself like this, it made her feel cheap.

Marius would never have thought of her as cheap or anything like that, but he must have realised how she felt right then because he reached one of his hands underneath the pillows and brought out her nightdress which she always folded and kept under there.

"Here, put this on" he said, and she took it and moved off him to dress herself for bed.

"I feel so foolish" she said after she had slipped her nightgown on, Marius had also began putting his own night-clothes on as well and he looked at her as she sat on the bed next to him.

"Please don't feel like that Cosette" he said. "Everything's going to be alright, let's just sleep".

So Cosette lay down under the covers and turned onto her side, she smiled when she felt Marius wrap an arm around her and kiss her hair gently. He held her like that all night, comforting her and didn't say another word about what had happened in case it upset her again.

* * *

The next morning, Marius awoke to feel a hand on his face, it was Cosette, she was stroking it gently with her fingers and smiling.

"Good morning" she said as he opened his eyes and looked at her.

"Good morning" he replied, she was smiling so sweetly at him he couldn't help but smile back. He had missed that smile over this past month; it was so good to see it again.

"You should grow a beard" Cosette said, still touching his face. He hadn't shaved in a couple of days and there was some stubble showing on him, but Cosette rather liked the way it looked.

"Do you think so? I was going to wait until I was old to do that". He said. Actually he wanted to wait until he had children to grow a beard, he had this idea that it would make him seem sterner to them, and he felt children should have a stern father.

"I think you'd look very handsome with some whiskers" Cosette said, her father had always had a beard, and she remembered loving the way it felt against her skin when he kissed her forehead. Perhaps she wanted to feel that again, but with Marius this time.

Marius placed his hand over hers and then turned to face her in the bed, he wasn't really sure what to say, he didn't want to mention anything about last night in case it would embarrass her. He smiled at her and ran his fingers through her hair; it really was so nice to see her looking happy again.

"So…" Cosette said, clearly not sure what to say either "Last night, I'm sorry about what happened Marius, I wasn't thinking right".

"It's alright my love" Marius said, not really wanting to think about it.

"I do still really want to be with you" she said looking at him seriously with perhaps just a hint of flirtation in her eyes which didn't go unnoticed by Marius.

"Do you want to…..now?" he said, hopefully.

Cosette didn't answer him, she took his hand that was entwined in her hair and brought it to her lips. She kissed his fingers gently and then moved his hand down her body slowly until it was under her nightdress and between her legs.

"Now Marius" she said quietly, and Marius began moving his fingers down there, rubbing her gently and rhythmically and kissing her softly on the lips as he fingered her, he had just started to get really good at this act of foreplay before things went wrong between them this past month, but listening to Cosette getting aroused that morning clearly indicated that he hadn't lost that special touch.

"My Cosette…" he whispered.

Eventually, when she was nice and wet, Marius pushed her nightdress up to her waist and moved himself between her legs, he was already hard just listening to the noises she was making as he moved his fingers inside her and rubbed her clit.

He removed his night-clothes but he didn't remove Cosettes, for no real reason, sometimes he just liked to leave her nightdress on as he made love to her, it was enough to turn him on just pushing it up to her waist and looking at her like that anyway. Besides it had been nearly a month since he had been with her, (not counting the previous night) he didn't want to waste any more time.

Marius entered her without any more hesitation, and Cosette moaned heavily having him inside her again, he sighed in satisfaction as he filled her with every inch of himself, remembering just how good it could be being inside her.

He started out slowly, moving inside her gently but when he felt Cosette dig her nails into his shoulder the way she liked to do he started moving a little faster. It was amazing hearing the sounds of passion he could evoke from her again; he had really missed those sounds.  
Cosette wasn't inactive; she kissed him intensely and felt him all over his back and his strong shoulders. She wrapped her legs around his waist drawing him in deeper into her so she could feel connected to him again.

And she did, true there had been that gap growing between them over this past month, but the second she felt him inside of her again she wasn't thinking about anything she'd suffered through lately, all she was thinking about was right now and Marius, and that feeling of climax that was building up inside of her.

* * *

Anyone who passed their bedroom that morning would have heard those two going at it, the young couple hadn't quite learnt how to keep it discreet yet and unbeknownst to the two of them the walls were quite thin in that big house, so it wasn't the first time their exertions had been heard.  
The servants didn't say anything of course because it wasn't their place to say anything, Marius's aunt just clutched her rosary beads even harder at the sound of a young married couple enjoying each other, the old prude that she was, and walked away shaking her head.

As for Marius's grandfather, well he simply smiled to hear the two of them finally rejoined and he gave their door a sly wink. "Good for you my boy, good for you!" he said out loud as he passed their bedroom, because he knew this was the first time for them both since Cosettes father had passed away and he couldn't have been prouder of the two of them right then.

**The End**


End file.
